


A Weeping Heart

by allxthexwords



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Citadel Dlc spoilers, Drinking, F/M, Mass Effect 3: Citadel, boozey rememberings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 02:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allxthexwords/pseuds/allxthexwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Citadel DLC spoilers. 1,300 words.</p><p>Shepard goes to the Silver Coast Casino for a drink, and ends up with more than she bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Weeping Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the last half of this while kind of out of it on my pain meds just now and listening to depressing shrios songs; so, I have no idea if it’s any good or not. But I finally finished it, so I thought, what the hell, I’ll post it.

_“There’s a “Weeping Heart.” That’s a martini with drell-skin venom. The venom’s pretty mild though.”_

She had tried, at the time, to keep her façade up. It had been her own damn fault for asking what some of the craziest drinks were that the bartender had ever served, while attempting to mingle at the benefit, waiting for any more problems to solve that Brooks could run into while hacking her way into the safe room. 

She knew the effects of drell skin venom all too well. 

_Thane._

She hadn’t allowed herself to break down; there was a mission at hand. She had needed to find out who Khan had supplied the armaments to, who else was attempting to kill her. It wasn’t that assassination attempts were anything new, but when she had Cerberus and the Reapers already gunning for her, adding mysterious mercs no one knew anything about to the list had seriously grated on her nerves. 

They had been assigned to shore leave, and after dealing with the fiasco of her clone, Shepard was lounging on one of the couches in her new apartment, and reflecting.

 _A weeping heart_ ; the name was apt. 

She hadn’t been able to buy herself a drink while she had been on the mission, but she could go get one now. She was on shore leave after all, resting up before the beginning of the end. There was no reason why she couldn’t get dressed up, go out and have a drink. She could sit alone at the bar, and drink; the name of her preferred poison fit her own state of being perfectly. 

Hauling herself up off of the couch and up the stairs, Shepard grabbed the dress from her closet and headed to the bathroom. Changing, she grabbed the couple of silver chains she had tucked in a drawer and put them on her neck. She took the time to do more to her hair than just rake a hand through it and tuck the strands behind her ear, to put on some makeup, more than just the split-second application of eyeliner and a coloured lip balm. Sliding into her heels, Shepard strapped her N7 Eagle to her thigh. One can never be too careful; after all, the last time she had gone out for dinner and drinks someone had tried to assassinate her. 

Leaving her apartment, Shepard made her way towards the Silver Coast Casino, weaving through bodies on the Strip, hoping something other than her usual armour for attire would keep her from being recognized too many times. Tonight she didn’t want to be the infallible Commander Shepard; she just wanted to be herself, a woman who had lost the love of her life, and needed a little time to grieve. 

Making her way up to the second level of the casino, she sat down at the bar, sparing a glance over at the dance floor.

“Hey there, what can I get for you?”

Her attention was turned from bright lights and dancing bodies to the bartender.

“A weeping heart, please.” Though, she already had one of those inside of her chest. The drink would be a suitable accompaniment. 

“Coming right up,” the bartender smiled, moving away to start working on her drink. It didn’t take long, and before she knew it, there was a martini in her hand.

Taking a decent sized sip of the drink, she waited. She turned from the bar, to sit leaning back onto the wood of the counter, drink in her hand, watching the people dancing, and waiting for the effects of the venom to kick in.

The coloured lights began to linger and sweep across the second level of the casino, instead of flash, the colours more bright and vibrant. The bass was echoing inside of her head, and she could feel the beating of her heart in time with the music. She felt light, weightless. Slamming back the rest of the drink and leaving the empty glass on the counter, Shepard got up and moved over onto the dance floor. 

But this wasn’t quite right; she wasn’t supposed to feel like this without him. She had thought that for a moment, maybe if she lost herself in the drinks and dancing, for a moment she could pretend that he was there with her, that if she closed her eyes, she could convince the stranger who was dancing with her was Thane. With her head reeling in a way that only he could cause, she found herself feeling lonelier than ever. What had felt so good once, was bringing nothing but pain and heartbreak now.

Thane had convinced her to go dancing with him a few times, when they had a few spare hours of shore leave while others were refueling and buying supplies. They had gone to a dark corner, as hidden away from the rest of the club as they could be, stealing lingering kisses from each other’s mouths, his hands on her hips, hers wrapped tightly around his shoulders, one hand holding on, one caressing the sensitive frill. 

The stranger who she was dancing with now held none of the grace her lover had; he may as well have been a clumsy child, tripping over his own feet in comparison. 

She had never expected to fall in love, let alone with an assassin of another species. But he had held her heart in his hands with tender care, doing all he could to protect her from harm, to keep her in the gods’ good graces. Even with his very last breath, he asked the gods’ forgiveness of her sins past, present and future, to bring her to him across the sea when it was finally her time to rest and be granted eternal peace.

Kalahira had taken Thane from her; he had been guided to a place she couldn’t follow, not yet. The fragments of joy they had been given were torn apart, ripped away in such a fashion that left her gasping for breath and fighting back tears.

Shepard had been able to function perfectly fine before he had come into her life, she hadn’t known that there was anything missing, that there was so much that she never knew, never truly experienced. She had thought she was whole, but it turned out she was only half, just getting through the day. For a time, they had been whole together; how was she supposed to be able to go back, to function without him again, when she knew know that she was only half of something else, something entirely more beautiful than she had thought could ever exist.

Watching the lights shift and transform for a moment longer, Shepard stumbled away back to the bar.

“Another – I need another one, _please_.” She half-begged, not wanting to let go of the high when it was all that she could feel, when it was the only way she could manage to remember everything with such clarity. It had felt so good once, and though it was breaking her, tearing her apart, she couldn’t let it go, she couldn’t let him go, wouldn’t let him go.

Kalahira had taken him from her, but tonight, tonight she had this. Sitting down again, she took the second drink in hand, closed her eyes, and took a sip, trying to remember the feel of his scales on her skin, the taste of him in her mouth, trying to hold onto him the only way she could for now. But it wouldn’t be much longer until she could hold him again, Kalahira permitting. 

The beginning of the end was coming; soon she could finally rest, and fall asleep in Thane’s embrace. Her heart would weep no more, and she, they, would be whole for all eternity.


End file.
